Is That Deductible? Will You Speak At My Funeral?

The Role of a Community Shepherd

As a rural primary care doctor and elder at a large church, I’ve often found myself at the intersection of medicine, faith, and community. The nature of my work, both as a physician and as someone who occasionally preaches and teaches, places me in a unique position where I’m asked to be part of the most personal and significant moments in people’s lives. Over the years, I’ve been asked to officiate weddings and speak at funerals, and these requests are an extension of the deep trust and connection I’ve built within my community.

Being a community shepherd means more than just providing medical care. It’s about being there for people during their most joyous and most difficult times. It’s about celebrating life’s milestones, offering comfort in times of sorrow, and guiding people through the spiritual aspects of their journey. The privilege of being asked to officiate a wedding or speak at a funeral is a testament to the relationships I’ve nurtured over the years, relationships that go beyond the confines of my medical practice.

A Personal Request

Recently, however, I received a request that hit closer to home than usual. My cousin Michael, who has been battling a series of serious health issues for years, asked me to speak at his funeral. Michael and I grew up in a small, close-knit rural town where family ties ran deep. We went to the same school, played sports together, and shared many childhood memories. But unlike his brothers, Michael was more inclined towards music and faith, which created a special bond between us. As I pursued my education and career outside our rural town, Michael and I maintained our connection, especially through our shared faith.

Unfortunately, Michael’s health has been on a steady decline due to his uncontrolled ulcerative colitis. This has led to countless surgeries, a liver transplant, heart failure, and kidney issues. He is under the care of a team of specialists at the Cleveland Clinic, but the outlook is not promising. When I visited Michael recently, he told me that his doctor advised him to start making plans for the end of life. He mentioned that it was time to pick out pallbearers and plan his funeral, just in case things suddenly take a turn for the worse. That’s when he asked me, “Will you speak at my funeral? You’re one of the few people who has known me all my life.”

The Weight of the Ask

Hearing those words from Michael was both humbling and heartbreaking. It’s one thing to be asked to officiate at the funeral of a patient or a community member, but when it’s family, the weight of the ask feels much heavier. Michael’s request wasn’t just about the funeral; it was about our shared history, our bond, and the love we’ve had for one another throughout our lives.

It’s moments like these that make me reflect on the unique position I hold in the lives of those around me. As a doctor, I’ve been trained to diagnose and treat, to offer comfort and care. But being asked to speak at Michael’s funeral goes beyond my professional role; it’s about being there as a cousin, a friend, and a brother in faith. It’s about honoring the life of someone who has been a part of my own life’s tapestry.

The Freedom of Financial Independence

This request from Michael also made me think about how my life has changed in recent years. As a self-employed physician who has reached financial independence (FI), I now have the freedom to spend more time with friends and family. My past work was rigid and all-encompassing, leaving little room for relational time. But the business decisions I’ve made, including forming my own micro-corporation and downshifting to a less demanding semi-retired state, have given me the flexibility to be more present in the lives of those I care about.

While there’s no business expense associated with spending time with Michael or speaking at his funeral, it’s a direct result of the choices I’ve made in my career. These decisions have allowed me to create a life where I can prioritize relationships, where I can be there for my cousin during this difficult time, and where I can fulfill his request without the constraints of a demanding work schedule.

The Non-Deductible Space

In the world of business and finance, we often talk about deductions and expenses, about the bottom line and maximizing returns. But there are some things in life that simply don’t fit into that framework. The time I spend with Michael, the conversations we have, and the honor of speaking at his funeral—these are not deductible business expenses. They don’t add to my financial portfolio or increase my net worth. But they are, without a doubt, some of the most valuable aspects of my life.

Being a self-employed physician has its challenges, but it also offers incredible rewards. The ability to create a practice that aligns with my values, that allows me to be present in the lives of my loved ones, and that gives me the freedom to engage in these deeply personal moments is something I wouldn’t trade for anything. It’s a reminder that while the financial aspects of our careers are important, the relational and spiritual dimensions are what truly enrich our lives.

A Call to Action

For those of you who are also navigating the complexities of being a physician and a business owner, I encourage you to consider how your business decisions can create more space for the things that truly matter. If you haven’t yet explored the benefits of forming a micro-corporation, now is the time. SimpliMD offers a membership for only $99, which is worth $2,500 in business products. It’s an investment that can help you achieve financial independence and create a life that aligns with your values.

Additionally, I invite you to enroll in my course, “Creating A Practice Without Walls.” In this course, you’ll learn how to build a micro-corporation that provides you with agency in the marketplace, giving you the freedom to design a practice that works for you. Whether you’re looking to downshift to a semi-retired state or simply want more control over your work-life balance, this course will equip you with the tools you need to succeed.

Conclusion

Michael’s request was a poignant reminder of the importance of relationships and the role we play in the lives of others. As physicians, we have the privilege of being part of people’s most significant life moments. And while not every aspect of our work is deductible, the rewards of being present, of being there for those who matter most, are immeasurable. As you continue to build your practice and navigate your career, remember to make space for the things that truly matter—for they are the true treasures of life.