Is That Deductible? Navigating the Costs of Weddings and Marriage
Mar 03, 2025
The Reality of Wedding & Life Expenses
If you have kids, especially daughters, you’ll eventually ask yourself, how much should we spend on a wedding? My wife and I have five children, three of whom are daughters. We’ve now been through two weddings, financing one of them. Our fourth child, our daughter, is getting married this June, which means another round of planning, budgeting, and navigating the high costs of weddings in today’s economy.
Our daughter has lived at home since graduating high school, earning her creative writing degree online to save on college costs. Staying at home is a growing trend among Gen Z—20-somethings who live with their parents longer to offset rising living expenses. According to recent statistics, nearly 54% of young adults aged 18-29 still live at home, the highest percentage in over 75 years.
The job market for writers has been shrinking, thanks in part to the rise of AI technology, which has transformed the landscape with its innovative capabilities. Despite this shift, she's found a silver lining by taking on a lively role as a receptionist at a bustling dental office. The clinic is always buzzing with activity, and she's embraced this opportunity at the front desk with enthusiasm and cheerfulness. She is bright beautiful and friendly personality that any patient would be happy to encounter in this setting. Surrounded by friendly colleagues and patients who bring their own stories each day, she feels inspired as she prepares eagerly for her next exciting chapter. These experiences fill her daily journal entries. With optimism in her heart and creativity in her soul, she knows that new adventures await just around the corner as she prepares for the next chapter in her life!
Her fiancé comes from a great family—he’s the youngest child of a local pastor, and we couldn’t be happier for them. He is an incredibly kind, thoughtful, and faith-filled young man who treats our daughter with the utmost love and respect. He has a deep sense of responsibility, a strong work ethic, and a genuine passion for education as he pursues his teaching degree. His values align beautifully with ours, and we have enjoyed every moment getting to know him.
Together, they make a wonderful couple. Our daughter is fiercely independent, determined, and compassionate—qualities that complement her fiancé’s steady, warm, and supportive nature. We have spent many evenings together at our home playing simple games, watching movies, and engaging in deep conversations that have only strengthened our admiration for them as a couple. It’s been a joy watching their relationship blossom and seeing how they encourage and uplift each other. We truly love them both and are grateful to welcome him into our family.
But like many young couples, they face significant financial hurdles. Housing, in particular, is a massive challenge, especially in our rural area, where rental options are limited.
The Cost of Weddings: National Trends
If you’ve been through a wedding recently, you know that prices have skyrocketed. Here are some national trends worth noting:
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The average U.S. wedding cost in 2024 is around $30,000, with venues and catering making up nearly 50% of the total.
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Only 22% of couples opt for a traditional church wedding, with the majority choosing stand-alone venues.
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Wedding reception costs average $12,000, often outpacing what people spend on their first home down payment.
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Premarital counseling is completed by only 30% of engaged couples, despite studies showing it significantly reduces divorce risk.
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The U.S. divorce rate hovers around 40-50%, though couples who undergo premarital counseling, pray together daily, and attend church regularly see their divorce rate drop to 1 in 85,000. BTW, we happy that our daughter and fiance’ have embraced this pathway.
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The median age for first marriages has increased to 30 for men and 28 for women, a significant jump from previous generations.
Our Family’s Three Philosophies on Weddings & Marriage
1. Your Spouse is the Most Impactful Decision You’ll Ever Make
We've always lovingly encouraged our kids to make thoughtful choices and to savor the journey. After all, marriage is not just any commitment—it's a lifelong adventure filled with shared dreams and companionship! Finding that special someone who feels like home, the person who makes your heart sing, matters more than anything else in this wonderful world. But this critical decision will likely influence their path in life like no other decision, so prayerfully and mindfully make a wise selection!
2. Investing in a Strong Marriage Before the Wedding
We believe in setting up our children for long-term success in their marriages. That’s why we prioritize premarital counseling and spiritual preparation. My wife and I benefited tremendously from attending a FamilyLife Marriage Conference before we were married and afterward as well. Thus, we promise each of our children to pay for their premarital attendance to this conference. Our daughter and her fiancé will attend the conference in Indianapolis this March. They’ll stay with my daughter and her husband while they’re there, making it an even more meaningful experience.
3. Giving a Fixed Budget and Letting the Couple Decide
Rather than micromanaging every detail, we’ve chosen to give each of our kids a set budget—a little less than $15,000—and let them allocate it as they see fit. If they spend under budget, they keep the difference.
I also provide a small financial incentive to get married in a church. Maybe I’m a bit of a traditionalist, but I value the significance of starting a covenant marriage in a sacred space. Our very independent daughter is taking full charge of her wedding planning, with my wife is offering regular guidance.
The Housing Challenge for Young Couples
The biggest challenge facing newlyweds today isn’t just the cost of the wedding—it’s housing. Nationally, housing prices are at historic highs, and rental costs continue to soar. Some key stats:
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The median U.S. home price is over $400,000, making homeownership out of reach for many young couples.
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Average apartment rents have risen 30% in the past five years, with many cities seeing even higher increases.
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Starter home inventory is at a record low, making it difficult for first-time buyers to enter the market.
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More than 60% of Gen Z adults cite housing costs as their biggest financial obstacle.
Our daughter and her fiancé want to live on their own, but finding an affordable apartment in our rural area has been a challenge. We’ve offered different solutions to help, but so far, nothing has resonated. She also wants to move into their place before the wedding so she can “nest” and make it feel like home—something we totally understand.
Is That Deductible?
If you’re wondering whether any of these wedding-related expenses are tax-deductible, the short answer is: No.
Weddings, marriage conferences, and housing assistance all come from post-tax personal dollars. Unlike business expenses, personal milestones like weddings aren’t deductible. However, business owners have other financial strategies available to optimize taxes and build long-term financial independence.
Throughout our lives, we have consistently prioritized saving, allowing us to systematically set aside funds for each of our children's weddings. This strategic financial planning helps us manage this significant expense within our personal budget more effectively, despite the noticeable decrease in my professional earnings during semi-retirement.
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