Honoring My Mother: The Woman Who Made My Mission Possible

This Week’s Real-Life Lesson:

Where do you even begin when the woman who gave you life—and saved it more than once—suddenly slips into eternity?

This past week, my beloved mom, Rebecca "Sue" Reaker, died unexpectedly in her sleep at the age of 77. Just typing those words brings a fresh wave of tears. Her passing has torn a hole in my world, and yet, through the tears, I feel her legacy echoing in every corner of my life.

You see, these micro-businesses that I lead, this entrepreneurial path I walk, the flourishing life I now live—it all has her fingerprints on it. My mother, who never had much, gave me everything. She rose from deep hardship, clawing her way out of generational pain, poverty, and emotional scars to give me a shot at something different. Something better. Something sacred.

I owe her my life, not only biologically but professionally and spiritually too.

The Legacy of a Quiet Warrior

My mom was a quiet warrior, the kind of person whose strength and resolve spoke volumes without needing to utter a single word. Her upbringing was far from ideal; in fact, it was marked by challenges and hardships that could have easily thwarted the spirit of anyone less resilient.

However, instead of allowing the trauma and difficulties she faced to dictate her life's path, she made a conscious choice to break free from its grasp. With unwavering determination, she set out to create a different narrative for herself and her family. Raising my sister and me was no small task, but she did so with an abundance of faith, discipline, and hope.

These were not just abstract ideals but principles that guided every decision she made. Her days were long and filled with work—taking on factory jobs during the early morning hours while babysitting neighborhood kids in the afternoons to make ends meet. Her commitment to self-improvement never waned; in her 30s, when many might have settled into their routines, she courageously pursued her GED. This achievement opened doors for her further education in nursing—a testament that it’s never too late to rewrite your story or embark on new paths.

Her journey represented more than personal success; it symbolized a redefinition of what seemed possible for our family. Through countless sacrifices—some visible but many unseen—she laid down stepping stones that enabled me not only to pursue higher education but also carve out my career in medicine and explore entrepreneurial ventures I had once only dreamed about.

Her voice echoes persistently in my mind: "If something needs done, do it. If something’s broken, fix it. Don’t wait for perfect—make it work with what you’ve got." This mantra is pure entrepreneurial wisdom distilled into practical guidance—a philosophy she lived authentically before I ever learned how invaluable those lessons would become. In essence, through her life example and enduring words of encouragement, my mother imparted lessons far beyond any textbook or classroom: perseverance against odds unyielded by circumstances beyond control can indeed redefine destiny—not just one’s own but potentially generations thereafter too—and therein lies true quiet heroism worthy of admiration forevermore.

Though the sudden loss of my mother is deeply painful, her unwavering love and the profound gratitude I feel for her endless investment in my life will forever be a cherished source of strength. Her legacy inspires me to carry forward with resilience and purpose, honoring her memory by living fully and embracing each moment with love.

Navigating the Business of Death

As her son and the financial executor of her estate, I now find myself unexpectedly immersed in a new kind of business responsibility—the business of honoring her legacy through stewardship.

This past week, I’ve learned a lot:

• Funeral expenses are real and often due before you even grieve.

• Final bills come from every direction—utilities, medical, even digital subscriptions.

• Her estate plan, drafted years ago with a trusted lawyer, has now become my guide. The will, the investment portfolio, the checking account, the joint property titles—it’s all in motion.

• I’m coordinating with sister and our family lawyer to ensure everything transfers according to her wishes, while also navigating the emotional landmines that come with this process.

If you’re a physician entrepreneur who hasn’t yet faced this responsibility, let me tell you: estate planning is a love letter to your family. My mom made sure everything was lined up, and it’s making this grief-filled process just a little easier.

If you haven’t created your own estate plan yet, I urge you to do it—-for the sake of your family.

Is This Deductible?

Yes, many of the mounting costs in the days following a loved one's passing can be paid through the estate, and some may even be deductible depending on your structure. Here are some real examples from my journey this week:

• The headstone work is an estate-related expense.

• The funeral home service fee, urn, and funeral service costs are all payable through the estate.

• Death certificates (you’ll likely need 8-10 copies for banks, insurance, and titles) can be reimbursed by the estate.

• Clergy honorariums and musician stipends for the service are estate-related.

• Obituary publication fees in local papers. These are surprisingly expensive at $700 per paper.

• Postage and mailing costs for estate notifications.

• Travel or lodging costs for executors handling the estate may be deductible under a trust arrangement.

I suggest don’t guess on some of these expenses—get help from a tax or estate advisor to walk through this properly.

Turning Grief into Gratitude

Grief has a strange way of clarifying what matters. As I sorted through my mom’s papers, photos, and scribbled prayers, I realized that the very resilience I teach here at PEA-SimpliMD—the grit, the bootstrapping, the visionary persistence—I learned it first from her.

She didn’t call herself an entrepreneur. But she was.

She converted vans into vacation vehicles with salvaged windows. She turned pennies into paychecks. She mentored others long before coaching was a business model. She did it all with faith, purpose, and no spotlight.

If you want to live a life that matters—one that lasts beyond your LinkedIn profile—you must invest in people, not just products. That’s what she did.

And that’s what we invite you to do in the PEA-SimpliMD Community. Thousands of clinicians are breaking free and building lives they love.

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Final Reflection: She Built My Life

I hope you can sense the weight and wonder of who my mother was. Sue Reaker wasn’t just a nurse or a mom or a grandma. She was a builder. A generational curse-breaker. A spiritual matriarch.

If you find yourself in the middle of grief, or reflecting on those who came before you, let me say this: Honor them by building well. Build with excellence. Build with courage. Build something that outlives you.

To help you reflect and take your next step, I want to gift you a free resource from our Entrepreneur-Business Development pillar:

Download Beyond Dollars: Building a Lasting Legacy

Let your next move be part of a legacy worth honoring.

With gratitude and tears, Dr. Tod Stillson Founder, PEA-SimpliMD